The ~Ever Inevitable~ Relationship Post

Alright, I'm laying it all out on the table.  Writing a dating blogpost is risky business but I'll continue... Obviously, I am a female college student.  Yes, we think about our futures and of course that includes our future husbands and all that entails.  And guys don't think we don't know y'all think about it too.

As girls and guys, sometimes there are two extremes in going about a relationship. 
       The first is that our worth and happiness and fulfillment come from having a significant other.  Or we're constantly chasing after a relationship or constantly desiring one.  Sometimes we are obsessed (okay obsessed is a very overused yet harsh word, but I'm still going to use it here) with a girl/guy/the want of one that we forget that as a part of the church we already have a groom, Christ!
       The second case is where we become so independent that we are stubborn towards, even the thought of having a relationship.  With such a hard-headed mindset we might even resist someone if God placed them on our doorstep.  This case could even include those who fear "feelings."

      This is actually where I found myself this semester.  I had plans for my single life.  I was going to do things before I had someone else to worry about.  I wanted time to be selfish and do the things I wanted to do.  I was going to travel and have experiences alone and focus on friendships.  (This may also still be the case but I'm always in the process of learning how to let God make my plans.) This was my mindset for a long time and then one day a friend told me that it was okay to open up and look forward to the day "the one" might come along whether I know him now or not and it is okay to feel for someone because we were made to feel. 
      I realized that it is all a balancing act of guarding your heart (as if we haven't heard that ever) and allowing them to open up to God's will as well.  Actually, we can call it more of an act of faith than a balancing act.  In the end God will have the final say and we get to choose whether it is by the easy way because we were obedient and trusting or the hard way because we weren't. 
      I found my middle ground about a week ago.  I tried to explain this moment to my friends and my mom and found it kind of difficult but I'll try again now.  So I was walking across campus on my way to class, I had absolutely nothing on my mind and I wasn't thinking about anything.  All of a sudden these words were in my heart and were coming out of my mouth, "thank you, Lord, that I am single right now."  In this instance I actually stopped walking and paused.  I couldn't believe I had just spoken those words out loud.  I have honestly enjoyed being single and just the independence that comes with it but to actually be thankful at a time in life when everyone seems to believe that you have to be engaged by graduation or something is wrong, shocked me.  It was because of my own surprise, I realized that God, himself, had given me that thought, the thought to be grateful for a period of singleness in life.  In that moment the Lord, literally, spoke a prayer of thanksgiving into my heart.  It was such a sweet experience that reassured me that God has got it all covered and all I need to do is enjoy the adventure he has me on.

I can't make plans for myself because God is just going to ruin them anyways 

     Once you are satisfied with being single, accept that God might put someone in your life before you "think" you're ready, and fully put all this in his hands, he begins to prepare your heart for what is coming next in life, whatever/whoever that may be.  Allow God to work whenever, wherever, however and with whomever he wants.  It is actually very funny how God works, never ceasing to amaze or prove me wrong.  I'm just glad that I follow a God who I can trust if and more likely when he does change up my plans.  I can see myself becoming less of a Miss Independent and more of a Jesus Follower.  And in the meantime I'm praying for a willing heart for whatever he brings my way!

 

God's Blessings,

Karsyn Penelope

Father Knows Best

Alright so I could probably write a novel on my mishaps.  I should stop being surprised by my many misfortunes.  I should also realize that the saying "when it rains, it pours" is very applicable to my life.  And I have realized that when these 'accidents' happen a multitude of life lesson come out of them. 
I must admit, this has all sounded like I'm having a bit of a pity party for myself (party of one), but let me say I am not trying to complain, as I have very recently learned and been convicted of that complaining about our circumstances is criticizing our God.  So bear with me as I tell you this story.

Now if you know me you might know about my car, Simba (yes, I named my car. People say when you name something you become emotionally attached to it-- well it's true.)  Anyways I love Simba and I am very thankful that I have a car but he has had more than his fair share of issues.  Since just being away at college he has broken down in the middle of the road twice now, not to mention the three flat tires I've had.  You may know about the time that I rather stupidly caught a ride with a man wearing a Scottish kilt, dressed from the medieval times when I was stranded on the side of a freeway halfway between College Station and Houston, that was a good story. But anyways, it is now a very common occurence for me to be asked the question "how is Simba doing?" Well yesterday one of my notorious "Oh Life" learning moments occurred and, you guessed it, it involved good ol' Simba.

              So I am driving down the highway when a really weird noise starts coming from my car.  I wasn't totally surprised because it's not uncommon with my car, when all of a sudden a loud clunk brings Simba to a halt-- in the middle of the road just before a bridge.  The gas pedal was working fine but the front wheels just wouldn't move.  And cue the panic!  I immediately fumbled to flick on my hazards and opened the door so that the pile up of cars behind me would know that they were going to have to go around me because I wasn't going anywhere.  I called my dad and chaotically tried to explain what had happened and that I was currently in the middle of the road.  On the verge of frustrated tears a couple of guys pulled up to help me push the car to the side of the road, all the while the car sounded like it was about to fall apart and I mean this in the most literal way possible.  Once out of the way of traffic the gentlemen made sure I was okay and went on their way.  I called my dad back and just lost it...
              You see, I had gone home the weekend before and my dad told me that I should take his car back to school so that my parents could figure out what to do with Simba and so that he wouldn't have to worry about me being three hours away with a very temperamental automobile.  But of course, in my prideful stubbornness I refused, because I wanted my car.  Not even two days later was my dad proven to be right.  He got a call from his frazzled daughter with a broken down car on the highway as the proof of his wisdom. 
              Boy was I feeling pretty stupid and angry at myself for not just listening to dad.  All he wanted to do was help me and keep me safe and protect me from emotional and physical stress, but no I wanted to do things my own way.  He rebuked me as he should have and then today when I talked to  him I told him how sorry I was for not being obedient without whining or complaining and he responded with "we live and we learn" and he told me that he loved me.  This is the perfect illustration how God is a father to us and if my dad on earth can exemplify this then think of how much greater a perfect, immortal, all-knowing Father is. 

How many times do we do this in our walk with the Lord, our heavenly Father.  We don't believe what the Word says about him. We don't believe that he can forgive us when we mess up; we don't trust that he has our better interest in mind; we just don't. All he wants is the best for us and I know that we have all heard that a million and one times before but do you wait to trust in Him until you go through a crisis or a mishap?  I know I'm guilty of that.  Is it always going to take a storm to make me trust in my God, my God who tells the winds to blow and the clouds to rain? 
All I can say is learn to have faith in your Creator and obey him.  He knows best... always.

Oh and I love you, Dad!

Underlying Lessons

In proclaiming to be a Christian I was really convicted in the midst of the chaos yesterday to show Christ in how I responded.  So much of life is not what happens but how we respond.  In the really not fun situation God gave me a joy that only could've come from him.  I had to interact with several different people: the Indian call-center guy from my insurance, the policeman who came to make sure everything was okay, the tow-truck guy, and the auto repair workers.  With everyone I just felt the need to be extra positive and friendly and thankful.  I do not know what came over me so obviously it was the Holy Spirit.  I even enjoyed each of my interactions with these people when I usually would be on the brink of just absolutely losing it altogether.  In short, we must remember who we represent at all times and have joy in every situation.  God always has provisions for us even in the everyday, mundane trials of life.  We must continue to have a joy that is eternal and from the Lord.  Once again it all comes down to trusting him and his undeniable, unending, unchangeable (even when we don't listen to him) love for us.


I promise that I won't change the name of this blog to the Misfortunate Life of Karsyn, but my dad is right "we live and we learn" and God allows good to come out of everything, even if only for life lessons.


God's Blessings,

Karsyn Penelope