As girls and guys, sometimes there are two extremes in going about a relationship.
The first is that our worth and happiness and fulfillment come from having a significant other. Or we're constantly chasing after a relationship or constantly desiring one. Sometimes we are obsessed (okay obsessed is a very overused yet harsh word, but I'm still going to use it here) with a girl/guy/the want of one that we forget that as a part of the church we already have a groom, Christ!
The second case is where we become so independent that we are stubborn towards, even the thought of having a relationship. With such a hard-headed mindset we might even resist someone if God placed them on our doorstep. This case could even include those who fear "feelings."
This is actually where I found myself this semester. I had plans for my single life. I was going to do things before I had someone else to worry about. I wanted time to be selfish and do the things I wanted to do. I was going to travel and have experiences alone and focus on friendships. (This may also still be the case but I'm always in the process of learning how to let God make my plans.) This was my mindset for a long time and then one day a friend told me that it was okay to open up and look forward to the day "the one" might come along whether I know him now or not and it is okay to feel for someone because we were made to feel.
I realized that it is all a balancing act of guarding your heart (as if we haven't heard that ever) and allowing them to open up to God's will as well. Actually, we can call it more of an act of faith than a balancing act. In the end God will have the final say and we get to choose whether it is by the easy way because we were obedient and trusting or the hard way because we weren't.
I found my middle ground about a week ago. I tried to explain this moment to my friends and my mom and found it kind of difficult but I'll try again now. So I was walking across campus on my way to class, I had absolutely nothing on my mind and I wasn't thinking about anything. All of a sudden these words were in my heart and were coming out of my mouth, "thank you, Lord, that I am single right now." In this instance I actually stopped walking and paused. I couldn't believe I had just spoken those words out loud. I have honestly enjoyed being single and just the independence that comes with it but to actually be thankful at a time in life when everyone seems to believe that you have to be engaged by graduation or something is wrong, shocked me. It was because of my own surprise, I realized that God, himself, had given me that thought, the thought to be grateful for a period of singleness in life. In that moment the Lord, literally, spoke a prayer of thanksgiving into my heart. It was such a sweet experience that reassured me that God has got it all covered and all I need to do is enjoy the adventure he has me on.
I can't make plans for myself because God is just going to ruin them anyways
Once you are satisfied with being single, accept that God might put someone in your life before you "think" you're ready, and fully put all this in his hands, he begins to prepare your heart for what is coming next in life, whatever/whoever that may be. Allow God to work whenever, wherever, however and with whomever he wants. It is actually very funny how God works, never ceasing to amaze or prove me wrong. I'm just glad that I follow a God who I can trust if and more likely when he does change up my plans. I can see myself becoming less of a Miss Independent and more of a Jesus Follower. And in the meantime I'm praying for a willing heart for whatever he brings my way!
God's Blessings,
Karsyn Penelope
