Getting Older, Not Growing Up

I hope everyone enjoyed thanksgiving with friends and family!  I ate like I was about to go into hibernation and I wouldn't have minded if that had been the case, especially with finals just around the corner.  But on the bright side, it is officially Christmas time so bring on the good tidings!

Being home has reminded me of how much I am growing up.  Probably because when I come home my mom takes such good care of me and I totally let her.  But I am now officially over two weeks into being 20 years old. Wait what?!? Yeah, two decades!  That seems so old to me, NOT saying that anything older is old, just I can't believe I have lived and lived through 20 years of life.  I can't help but feel a twinge of something, and I don't know exactly what, when I think about it.  Life is coming full steam ahead and it's time to start getting excited about the future and what God has in store for me. Yet, the other day as I was filling out a form I still found myself accidentally writing 19 in the "age" blank.

Maybe it's because I don't feel mature enough to be 20. You could probably ask any of my friends and family and they'd tell you just how silly I can be. I, personally, like to say I'm still a kid at heart.

 After talking to friends already in the real world, or on their way, and getting closer myself,  I've come to the conclusion to be in the mind set of: getting older but not growing up. 

I'm accepting the years are going to keep on coming-- I'm no longer in denial, but that doesn't mean I'm ready to retire my crazy adventurous side. I have been going through 1 and 2 Corinthians lately and as I started thinking about my predicament of 'never getting younger again,' I was reminded of a passage I had read. 

Brothers, stop thinking like children. In regard to evil be infants, but in your thinking be adults. 

1 Corinthians 14:20

Getting older, at times, requires that we think like adults. Responsibilities and reality never go away. But I believe that the Lord never planned on us going through our life getting more serious with age either. just wiser. He wants us to be innocent of what is evil and with innocence comes a joy that only the Lord can provide. There is a difference between innocence and ignorance though, and it is important that we know this as well.

So whether you're still "preparing" for your future or living your future right now, remember to enjoy it.  Make everyday an adventure. Smile and laugh and be spontaneous and crazy every once in a while.   Don't let the trials and tribulations of the world that we go through as we get older jade your heart or chaff at your spirit. Show off that eternal joy that not even the pains of life can take away!

God's Blessings,

Karsyn Penelope

A Sequel

I know it hasn't been that long since I've posted last but I have to share a Part II of  Knocked {Flat on my Face} Down. 

       So Sunday evening came around and that means only one thing: the long run.  This week our distance was to be 10 miles!  I was pumped up and yet my stomach cringed at the thought of it.  Running for that long and that far was not going to be easy that's for sure.  But in this sweet time I got to see the Lord continue to teach and reveal things to me. 
       The first was as we were running and came upon the places that I had once fallen {flat on my face}, Megan jokingly but unmistakably held out her arms in a gesture to catch me just in case I were to fall again.  I smiled at her humor but thought that she had just demonstrated what friends are really for.  We are not running this race alone and God has provided us with accountability partners and fellow Christians to do exactly that for us: keep us accountable, encourage us, and spur us along.  I urge you to find people in your life, if you haven't already, that will do this and will lead you closer to the Lord.
       Not only did I have Megan there to make sure I didn't stumble again but I was also wiser in choosing my steps.   I knew where my weak spots were, when I was most tired, and worn out so I made sure to take extra care in those places.  Our battle scars remind us of our past struggles and difficult places.  We are able to avoid those situations because we are stronger when they come a knocking at our door again. We also pray that God will allow us to use our past experiences to influence someone else's life in a positive way, as a testimony.  So as part of my testimony, I am proud to say that I did not fall this run unlike the past two weeks.
       All in all it ended up being a satisfying run.  I felt good and though I was tired I could have kept pressing on.  Once I got home I took off my shoes and realized (okay this is kind of gross) that I was going to have some blisters and callouses on my feet.  These not so welcome effects are reminders as well.  They mean that I am going places; I am doing something; I am running the race.  Not everything in life-- life living for our Savior-- is sunshine and rainbows, obviously.  So say hello to blood blisters, and calluses, and scabs, and soreness!  It is inevitable, we are going to have these things but we must remember to not let our hearts become calloused. 
       And this is where the light bulb floating above my headed flicked on.  I had written a verse on a notecard and had it taped onto the mirror of my bathroom for weeks now.  I looked at it every time I walked into the bathroom, brushed my teeth, washed my face, etc..  Yet the words' meaning did not truly impact me until this yesterday.

 

Proverbs 28: 14

Blessed is the man who always fears the Lord, but he who hardens his heart falls into trouble.

This is exactly what I had done.  I had been in a dry (desert) and calloused state spiritually and I was feeling so far from God emotionally.  I had fallen, literally on my runs and in my relationship with Jesus.    What are the steps to recovery they say?

1. Denial and 2. Acceptance and 3. so on and so on... 

Well then "my name is Karsyn White and I am a sinner."

And now I am so excited to say that I am moving along in the recovery process for getting my heart back in the right place. Jesus tugged at me and I finally felt aware of his presence for the first time in a long while. 
Oh my goodness, does it feel good to be back in his arms again.  I can finally breathe and my heart has started to soften.  Thank you, Lord, for your merciful embrace.

There are so many take-aways from this experience but in the end they have all led me deeper into the midst of my Savior, Jesus Christ and I'm running hard into him.


      

God's Blessings,

Karsyn Penelope

Knocked {Flat on my Face} Down

If we had a penny for every time we heard "when life knocks you down, just get back up again" or something to that extent we'd all be rich.  When I think of this quote I always picture the actual image of being knocked down and having to get up again and again and yet again. Well I got another spiritual analogy for you today. 

First off, here's the background.  Two of my friends and I are training for a half marathon. It's in about a month now and every week our distance increases. It is intense but the challenge is so fun! Anyways, you probably have heard how to relate running a race to our spiritual walk.

Hebrews 12:1 

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

 Or

Philippians 3:13-14

Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

 These are just a few examples. 

        So in training for a marathon, we have been going off a program that breaks down how we should work out every day up until the race. Being disciplined is tough!  That's a lesson in itself. Sometimes I simply don't want to run. But now that we are getting to our long runs it has actually become more "fun."  If that's even possible for fun and run to be in the same sentence. The challenge is exciting and every week when the distance goes up I run further than I ever have before. It's a great feeling to accomplish something. 

        But back to the getting knocked down in the race of life, and having the perseverance to continue to get back up again and again...

       Tired physically and emotionally, we are weak and when little stumbling blocks come it's easy to just let ourselves fall. I can attest to this because, I have embarrassingly taken two dramatic falls while running in the past two weeks.  The first I stepped on a rock, twisted my ankle, and crashed to the ground while my phone took the brunt of the fall. The second time was on our eight mile run.  I was tired and using all my energy to just keep my legs going when the sidewalk became uneven, my toe caught the edge and I went soaring into the air. I realized what was happening but did nothing to stop it. I did manage a little roll at the end to hopefully save my dignity. (Not that I even had any left and turns out I didn't...)  I know that my friend probably was concerned at first and then we both could not control our laughter except all the while we were trying to run still. 

        As we continued our run I had a long while to think. It's amazing how in those moments the embarrassment and pain of literally falling on my face near  pretty busy roads didn't really hit me/my pride until later. Both times I immediately got up and told my friend, Megan, to keep on running because I didn't want to ruin our run or mile time. It's amazing that you can be so focused on a goal or challenge that even the most embarrassing situations seem to not matter in the "long run."  (That just happened to workout as a perfect play on words.)  In the marathon of life when we are knocked down, specifically by sin or a challenging time, we have some choices:

1. We can simply stay down

2. We can be spurred on, use that "adrenaline" to keep on going stronger, and put it in the past and look forward

It's easy enough to say duh, the second choice is right , but even at the risk of sounding like a broken record "it's not about what happens in life, it's how you react."  So here's the challenge: be so focused on the Lord, your eyes so fixed on him, that even when trouble comes we throw it off, persevere, forget what is behind, and strain toward the real reason we are running at all.


God's Blessings,

Karsyn Penelope