He is the Same, I am Changed.

Reading the Old Testament is pretty difficult.  I have been in Deuteronomy lately and recently read:

58 “If you are not careful to do all the words of this law that are written in this book, that you may fear this glorious and awesome name, the Lord your God, 59 then the Lord will bring on you and your offspring extraordinary afflictions, afflictions severe and lasting, and sicknesses grievous and lasting. 60 And he will bring upon you again all the diseases of Egypt, of which you were afraid, and they shall cling to you. 61 Every sickness also and every affliction that is not recorded in the book of this law, the Lord will bring upon you, until you are destroyed. 62 Whereas you were as numerous as the stars of heaven, you shall be left few in number, because you did not obey the voice of the Lord your God. 63 And as the Lord took delight in doing you good and multiplying you, so the Lord will take delight in bringing ruin upon you and destroying you. And you shall be plucked off the land that you are entering to take possession of it.

Deuteronomy 28:58-63

It is hard for born again believers to wrap our minds around this passage.  He is so intense and this scares us, which it should.  But the reality is that God is constant, never changing from beginning to end.  So then that must mean he is still this same God from Deuteronomy.  The God who sends the most painful and wretched consequences to those who deliberately disobey his laws.  Punishments of pure suffering and sheer distress.

     I was pondering this for a while and for a brief time felt a little confused because this characteristic of God had not always been taught fully to me.  I know that there will always be things that my little mind just won't be able to comprehend about such an all-knowing God.  But he did reveal to me how he can still be that jealous and just beyond all comprehension and yet the most compassionate and patient giver of grace.  The answer to how he can be both of these extremes is

JESUS.

     Jesus, period.  He was and is the answer.  How long have we always known that?  I mean really, that is the most used answer for everything in church, (the "church" answer.)  But really think about it and he will reveal it to you as well.  Think about what Jesus did for us.  Yes, he bared an unbearable death.  He literally felt the weight of all our sins.  He was separated from his Father, even though he was without blemish.  Put it into perspective.  He took on every single act of justice that we deserved, including death of course, but all those that would have occured before death as well.  Pain, suffering, sickness, loss...

fearful plagues.  harsh and prolonged disasters.  severe and lingering illnesses.

     He saved us from so much unthinkable, unimaginable consequences which we fully were owed thousands of times over.  But now as we are taught, Christ's blood covers our sins and transgressions.  And when that same jealous, and in our own mind, seemingly harsh God from the Old Testament looks at us, instead of seeing a black and sick heart he sees his One and Only Perfect Son. God is still that God but it is I who am changed because I have been saved.  I am no longer of this world.  Though I am a sinner, I am different because of Jesus.  

     Something that I have known for so long, God brought to me in a new light.  Perhaps to shake me up or awaken me, things were put into a fresh new perspective.  I'm sure he has done the same for you as well from time to time.  Just a great and real reminder of the fullness of the God who calls us his.

God's Blessings,

Karsyn Penelope

Guatemala, Guatever, Guat's Up etc...

 

 

  So I've been back in the States for about four days now and I've got some great stories, new experiences, and a little bit of that Guatemalan tan (maybe just a hint.) I have sort of been in a daze, a "what is real life and what isn't" kind of daze. I think this happens a lot to people when they return back to their normal lives, though they might have better words to describe it than I. But I can't wait to share a little bit about our trip to the really very beautiful Guatemala!

     My team and I from Pine Cove were in Guatemala for 10 days.  We were challenged but had a ton of fun.  We spoke a lot of Spanglish, so much in fact that we were all stumbling over our English.  We forgot about grammar so communicating in Spanish and English became a little more difficult.  So now that I have been in school for a couple days I am still trying to process everything.  I've been thinking about my new friends I left behind and our team that had gotten so close in such a short amount of time. 

     We got to live in a different culture in a different country.  We helped lead a camp with our Guatemalan counterparts.  The camp was towards the coast near Taxisco and about two hours from Guatemala City.  If it wasn't obvious enough that we were "not in Kansas anymore" after seeing the mountains rise out of the landscape every direction, hearing a different language, volcanoes casually pluming with steam, then the very large iguana found in the boys' bathroom definitely reminded us of that.  Camp was amazing though.  We had two sessions: one with younger kids and the other with older.  I was personally very nervous for being with the older kids because it is harder to have a deeper conversation in a language you don't particularly know.  They aren't as entertained with "what is your favorite color?" as the little ones are.  But before I even thought of going to God with this prayer he answered it.  He goes before us and intervenes on our behalf and he went beyond all the barriers that were accounted for on this kind of trip and he formed friendships, created bonds, and changed lives.  We saw a lot of kids accept Christ into their hearts.  And the amazing thing was that their ways of worship and camp and Bible Study looked a little different than what we may be used to but who am I to say that God isn't big enough to work in a way I just wasn't used to?  I was humbled and inspired and energized on this trip.  It was such a sweet time to see God in a place that I am not familiar with.  We talked about this on our trip but we did not bring God to Guatemala, he was already working there. 

     I have been keeping up with some of my friends that I met in Guatemala and it is so exciting to have friends from around the world.  This trip confirmed my passions for others and meeting others from todo el mundo and I cant wait to see where God takes me next!

God's Blessings,

Karsyn Penelope

For more on the trip here's the link to a blog I got to write about how God was working! 

http://missiontrips.pinecove.com/second-session-is-underway/ 

The ~Ever Inevitable~ Relationship Post

Alright, I'm laying it all out on the table.  Writing a dating blogpost is risky business but I'll continue... Obviously, I am a female college student.  Yes, we think about our futures and of course that includes our future husbands and all that entails.  And guys don't think we don't know y'all think about it too.

As girls and guys, sometimes there are two extremes in going about a relationship. 
       The first is that our worth and happiness and fulfillment come from having a significant other.  Or we're constantly chasing after a relationship or constantly desiring one.  Sometimes we are obsessed (okay obsessed is a very overused yet harsh word, but I'm still going to use it here) with a girl/guy/the want of one that we forget that as a part of the church we already have a groom, Christ!
       The second case is where we become so independent that we are stubborn towards, even the thought of having a relationship.  With such a hard-headed mindset we might even resist someone if God placed them on our doorstep.  This case could even include those who fear "feelings."

      This is actually where I found myself this semester.  I had plans for my single life.  I was going to do things before I had someone else to worry about.  I wanted time to be selfish and do the things I wanted to do.  I was going to travel and have experiences alone and focus on friendships.  (This may also still be the case but I'm always in the process of learning how to let God make my plans.) This was my mindset for a long time and then one day a friend told me that it was okay to open up and look forward to the day "the one" might come along whether I know him now or not and it is okay to feel for someone because we were made to feel. 
      I realized that it is all a balancing act of guarding your heart (as if we haven't heard that ever) and allowing them to open up to God's will as well.  Actually, we can call it more of an act of faith than a balancing act.  In the end God will have the final say and we get to choose whether it is by the easy way because we were obedient and trusting or the hard way because we weren't. 
      I found my middle ground about a week ago.  I tried to explain this moment to my friends and my mom and found it kind of difficult but I'll try again now.  So I was walking across campus on my way to class, I had absolutely nothing on my mind and I wasn't thinking about anything.  All of a sudden these words were in my heart and were coming out of my mouth, "thank you, Lord, that I am single right now."  In this instance I actually stopped walking and paused.  I couldn't believe I had just spoken those words out loud.  I have honestly enjoyed being single and just the independence that comes with it but to actually be thankful at a time in life when everyone seems to believe that you have to be engaged by graduation or something is wrong, shocked me.  It was because of my own surprise, I realized that God, himself, had given me that thought, the thought to be grateful for a period of singleness in life.  In that moment the Lord, literally, spoke a prayer of thanksgiving into my heart.  It was such a sweet experience that reassured me that God has got it all covered and all I need to do is enjoy the adventure he has me on.

I can't make plans for myself because God is just going to ruin them anyways 

     Once you are satisfied with being single, accept that God might put someone in your life before you "think" you're ready, and fully put all this in his hands, he begins to prepare your heart for what is coming next in life, whatever/whoever that may be.  Allow God to work whenever, wherever, however and with whomever he wants.  It is actually very funny how God works, never ceasing to amaze or prove me wrong.  I'm just glad that I follow a God who I can trust if and more likely when he does change up my plans.  I can see myself becoming less of a Miss Independent and more of a Jesus Follower.  And in the meantime I'm praying for a willing heart for whatever he brings my way!

 

God's Blessings,

Karsyn Penelope

Getting Older, Not Growing Up

I hope everyone enjoyed thanksgiving with friends and family!  I ate like I was about to go into hibernation and I wouldn't have minded if that had been the case, especially with finals just around the corner.  But on the bright side, it is officially Christmas time so bring on the good tidings!

Being home has reminded me of how much I am growing up.  Probably because when I come home my mom takes such good care of me and I totally let her.  But I am now officially over two weeks into being 20 years old. Wait what?!? Yeah, two decades!  That seems so old to me, NOT saying that anything older is old, just I can't believe I have lived and lived through 20 years of life.  I can't help but feel a twinge of something, and I don't know exactly what, when I think about it.  Life is coming full steam ahead and it's time to start getting excited about the future and what God has in store for me. Yet, the other day as I was filling out a form I still found myself accidentally writing 19 in the "age" blank.

Maybe it's because I don't feel mature enough to be 20. You could probably ask any of my friends and family and they'd tell you just how silly I can be. I, personally, like to say I'm still a kid at heart.

 After talking to friends already in the real world, or on their way, and getting closer myself,  I've come to the conclusion to be in the mind set of: getting older but not growing up. 

I'm accepting the years are going to keep on coming-- I'm no longer in denial, but that doesn't mean I'm ready to retire my crazy adventurous side. I have been going through 1 and 2 Corinthians lately and as I started thinking about my predicament of 'never getting younger again,' I was reminded of a passage I had read. 

Brothers, stop thinking like children. In regard to evil be infants, but in your thinking be adults. 

1 Corinthians 14:20

Getting older, at times, requires that we think like adults. Responsibilities and reality never go away. But I believe that the Lord never planned on us going through our life getting more serious with age either. just wiser. He wants us to be innocent of what is evil and with innocence comes a joy that only the Lord can provide. There is a difference between innocence and ignorance though, and it is important that we know this as well.

So whether you're still "preparing" for your future or living your future right now, remember to enjoy it.  Make everyday an adventure. Smile and laugh and be spontaneous and crazy every once in a while.   Don't let the trials and tribulations of the world that we go through as we get older jade your heart or chaff at your spirit. Show off that eternal joy that not even the pains of life can take away!

God's Blessings,

Karsyn Penelope

A Sequel

I know it hasn't been that long since I've posted last but I have to share a Part II of  Knocked {Flat on my Face} Down. 

       So Sunday evening came around and that means only one thing: the long run.  This week our distance was to be 10 miles!  I was pumped up and yet my stomach cringed at the thought of it.  Running for that long and that far was not going to be easy that's for sure.  But in this sweet time I got to see the Lord continue to teach and reveal things to me. 
       The first was as we were running and came upon the places that I had once fallen {flat on my face}, Megan jokingly but unmistakably held out her arms in a gesture to catch me just in case I were to fall again.  I smiled at her humor but thought that she had just demonstrated what friends are really for.  We are not running this race alone and God has provided us with accountability partners and fellow Christians to do exactly that for us: keep us accountable, encourage us, and spur us along.  I urge you to find people in your life, if you haven't already, that will do this and will lead you closer to the Lord.
       Not only did I have Megan there to make sure I didn't stumble again but I was also wiser in choosing my steps.   I knew where my weak spots were, when I was most tired, and worn out so I made sure to take extra care in those places.  Our battle scars remind us of our past struggles and difficult places.  We are able to avoid those situations because we are stronger when they come a knocking at our door again. We also pray that God will allow us to use our past experiences to influence someone else's life in a positive way, as a testimony.  So as part of my testimony, I am proud to say that I did not fall this run unlike the past two weeks.
       All in all it ended up being a satisfying run.  I felt good and though I was tired I could have kept pressing on.  Once I got home I took off my shoes and realized (okay this is kind of gross) that I was going to have some blisters and callouses on my feet.  These not so welcome effects are reminders as well.  They mean that I am going places; I am doing something; I am running the race.  Not everything in life-- life living for our Savior-- is sunshine and rainbows, obviously.  So say hello to blood blisters, and calluses, and scabs, and soreness!  It is inevitable, we are going to have these things but we must remember to not let our hearts become calloused. 
       And this is where the light bulb floating above my headed flicked on.  I had written a verse on a notecard and had it taped onto the mirror of my bathroom for weeks now.  I looked at it every time I walked into the bathroom, brushed my teeth, washed my face, etc..  Yet the words' meaning did not truly impact me until this yesterday.

 

Proverbs 28: 14

Blessed is the man who always fears the Lord, but he who hardens his heart falls into trouble.

This is exactly what I had done.  I had been in a dry (desert) and calloused state spiritually and I was feeling so far from God emotionally.  I had fallen, literally on my runs and in my relationship with Jesus.    What are the steps to recovery they say?

1. Denial and 2. Acceptance and 3. so on and so on... 

Well then "my name is Karsyn White and I am a sinner."

And now I am so excited to say that I am moving along in the recovery process for getting my heart back in the right place. Jesus tugged at me and I finally felt aware of his presence for the first time in a long while. 
Oh my goodness, does it feel good to be back in his arms again.  I can finally breathe and my heart has started to soften.  Thank you, Lord, for your merciful embrace.

There are so many take-aways from this experience but in the end they have all led me deeper into the midst of my Savior, Jesus Christ and I'm running hard into him.


      

God's Blessings,

Karsyn Penelope

Knocked {Flat on my Face} Down

If we had a penny for every time we heard "when life knocks you down, just get back up again" or something to that extent we'd all be rich.  When I think of this quote I always picture the actual image of being knocked down and having to get up again and again and yet again. Well I got another spiritual analogy for you today. 

First off, here's the background.  Two of my friends and I are training for a half marathon. It's in about a month now and every week our distance increases. It is intense but the challenge is so fun! Anyways, you probably have heard how to relate running a race to our spiritual walk.

Hebrews 12:1 

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

 Or

Philippians 3:13-14

Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

 These are just a few examples. 

        So in training for a marathon, we have been going off a program that breaks down how we should work out every day up until the race. Being disciplined is tough!  That's a lesson in itself. Sometimes I simply don't want to run. But now that we are getting to our long runs it has actually become more "fun."  If that's even possible for fun and run to be in the same sentence. The challenge is exciting and every week when the distance goes up I run further than I ever have before. It's a great feeling to accomplish something. 

        But back to the getting knocked down in the race of life, and having the perseverance to continue to get back up again and again...

       Tired physically and emotionally, we are weak and when little stumbling blocks come it's easy to just let ourselves fall. I can attest to this because, I have embarrassingly taken two dramatic falls while running in the past two weeks.  The first I stepped on a rock, twisted my ankle, and crashed to the ground while my phone took the brunt of the fall. The second time was on our eight mile run.  I was tired and using all my energy to just keep my legs going when the sidewalk became uneven, my toe caught the edge and I went soaring into the air. I realized what was happening but did nothing to stop it. I did manage a little roll at the end to hopefully save my dignity. (Not that I even had any left and turns out I didn't...)  I know that my friend probably was concerned at first and then we both could not control our laughter except all the while we were trying to run still. 

        As we continued our run I had a long while to think. It's amazing how in those moments the embarrassment and pain of literally falling on my face near  pretty busy roads didn't really hit me/my pride until later. Both times I immediately got up and told my friend, Megan, to keep on running because I didn't want to ruin our run or mile time. It's amazing that you can be so focused on a goal or challenge that even the most embarrassing situations seem to not matter in the "long run."  (That just happened to workout as a perfect play on words.)  In the marathon of life when we are knocked down, specifically by sin or a challenging time, we have some choices:

1. We can simply stay down

2. We can be spurred on, use that "adrenaline" to keep on going stronger, and put it in the past and look forward

It's easy enough to say duh, the second choice is right , but even at the risk of sounding like a broken record "it's not about what happens in life, it's how you react."  So here's the challenge: be so focused on the Lord, your eyes so fixed on him, that even when trouble comes we throw it off, persevere, forget what is behind, and strain toward the real reason we are running at all.


God's Blessings,

Karsyn Penelope

I'm wandering hopelessly through a desert and it's hot and dry and...

Ever been walking through a spiritual desert? Has your faith ever been dried up by life?

There are times in our lives as Christians that we feel spiritually far away from God.  We can not feel him and we are not emotionally stirred by him in worship, or prayer, or quiet times, or sermons.  But the truth is, we can't rely on our emotions to reassure us that he is still near.  We are human and our emotions are seriously out of whack.  We can not trust ourselves because we are simply human-- sinners. 
This is how I had been feeling and as a result I was unmotivated, grouchy and a little bratty.  When one morning in my quiet time, the Lord showed me this passage:

1 Corinthians 14:15-16

So what shall I do? I will pray with my spirit, but I will also pray with my mind; I will sing with my spirit, but I will also sing with my mind. If you are praising God with your spirit, how can one who finds himself among those who do not understand say "Amen" to your thanksgiving, since he does not know what you are saying?

 

 

Our relationship with Christ is not based on how we're feeling, yesterday, today, or tomorrow.  We are commanded to praise and obey our Father.  Sometimes we don't want to do it and sometimes we're just "not feeling it" but we are called to do it no matter what.  This commandment is what leads us to praise him even in the rough and dry seasons of our spiritual walk with Christ.  When our hearts are broken or hardened, our mind should still know full well the power and love that our Lord and Savior has for us.

And in that... in those times when the world is telling us to forget about our faith, in those times when it's hard and we find ourselves not passionate at all, we must still make sure that our lives point to Him.  This is what brings non-believers to their knees. When they see this in how we live, they see Him.  I've said it before and I'll say it again life is not all about what happens but how we react. 

 

So in those times when you're wandering hopelessly though a desert... and it's hot... and dry... and you're waiting and praying for the Lord to move and stir your heart, you've just got to keep on keepin' on.

 

 

God's Blessings

 

Karsyn Penelope